Day 11 I Love Them

I don't know why these last few days have been so hard babe, but they have definitely been torture! I joked with you yesterday about a 10 day slump but I'm there and I'm having a hard time digging myself out. Not because I'm going to leave and not because I want to give up, but because I miss you so much and this isn't easy. I know this is only my first time dealing with something like this and it is something I will have to get used to. I know I will, when I'm ready and when I have more of you and your life surrounding me.

Tonight I have dinner with your family and honestly babe... I love them! It's relatively humorous; I decided to make my first Cheesecake for today! Why on earth I like to take the risk of making something for other people I've never done before and I'm probably not that great at is beyond me! I think I just like to put myself out there. I'm not particularily afraid of rejection and I think the reward oftentimes outweighs the risks. I hope to pass that on to Liam and all of our future children because I wasn't always like that. I rarely took risks and when I did I always feared what others would think of me. Self-confidence is one of the most difficult things to teach and one of the most trying things to learn. I think the other part of the equation is to surround yourself with positive influences and people. I hope our children someday have your confidence, you have such a beautiful spirit. While we're on the subject; I hope they inherit your cooking skills as well. So back to the cheesecake; if it's terrible at least I provided the humor for the evening, but to be honest, I'm not going to hold my breath, lol.

I'll write more after dinner... I can't wait!

P.S. Cheesecake was good, I'm my own worst critic. Everyone ate some, I think that counts for something. I had a wonderful time and again felt like I've known them forever! Your Mother bought Liam the most adorable fire truck and when she asked Liam who was a fireman he said, "JJ"! You've become such a huge part of our lives.

You should know how amazing Jacob is with Liam. He really takes the time to play with Liam and do the things Liam loves. He took him on the trampoline today and Liam had a blast!

Your Mother and I spent time indoors cleaning up from dinner and then ventured outside to join them in the fun. She got out the bubbles... I had no idea I had all of these repressed bubble cravings! I had so much fun being silly and just being myself. Although it's not the same without you there, I really felt so much better when I left. My 10 day slump is gone and I'm back to missing you like crazy in a happy, cheery, lovey way!

 

I had one more night to FaceTime with you and although I fell asleep before you were done and set an alarm to make sure I didn't miss your call, I'm so glad I got to see your face. You are so special to me babe.

 

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!