Day 33 Today You're Coming Home

When in actuality today is the day you left me for work, I know that when you read this you will be coming home to me and that gives me just a little bit of peace. I cannot wait until you get here and hold me in your arms. I don't think I've ever yearned more for a hug from another person but I cannot imagine my life without you in it. I miss your smile Jeffery, I miss your touch, I miss you soooo much!

"Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love." -Mother Teresa
I can't wait to see that smile.

And when you're here, laying next to me, lean over, give me a kiss and whisper the sweetest nothing you can think of...

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 32 A Few Pictures for You

I pulled out of your driveway with my eyes gushing tears and I drove straight to Sarah's. There was no one in the world that was going to make me feel better other than her. She didn't try to tell me it would be ok or that she understood. She just let me cry, listened to me tell her about you and smiled.

She listened to me go on about how fabulous you are for over an hour and then she helped me take 33 pictures. She didn't complain once and she made me have a blast. I'm so lucky to have her and I'm that much more lucky to have you too! It's rare that someone finds their soul mate in life and even more rare that they find two. I love you both more than words!

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you." -A. A. Milne

P.S. Day 33 is your last post for a month, so savor it... although you probably won't miss them because you'll have something even better... ME!

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 31 I Just Couldn't Leave

It doesn't matter how hard I tried to put that car in reverse, how hard I tried not to cry, how hard I focused on everything else in life, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had to make you walk away, I couldn't be the one to leave. You always tell me you love me so much it hurts and I completely understand what you are talking about because I feel the same way.

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." -Mother Teresa

I love you so much it hurts and in the end I find myself only wanting more...

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 30 A Difficult Morning

All morning I tried not to think about the fact that you would be leaving me in a few hours. I focused on spending every moment completely happy and in love! I savored the fact that I was able to wake up next to you for one final morning. 

I loved just cuddling in bed, talking, looking through Facebook, going through your old T-shirts and making plans for when you return. I cannot wait for you to come home. It will be so absolutely wonderful! I had such a hard time looking in your eyes and not crying...

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 29 A Walk Home

Last night we walked home and I'm positive I've never had a more perfect walk with anyone. I swear it must have taken us forever but I wouldn't take back one second for anything!

We talked about everything, told each other secrets and enjoyed every moment. We kissed every 100 steps and sometimes only made it 20 feet in 5 minutes. I felt so safe with you and so special. I will confess I was sad when we reached the house. I wanted to do it all over again...

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 28 Dinner with You and Your Parents

Last night we had dinner with your parents and I can't say I've ever had more fun! I already feel like a part of your family. I loved sitting at dinner with you, being close to you all night, having you hold me, rub my back, kiss me and call me yours. I was so proud to be near you. I had so much fun in conversation with your parents, margaritas at Cantina, drinks at Maxfields and hanging out in the street. I loved meeting your friends and just relaxing with you.

I know this will be one of those special moments I remember for the month you are gone. A moment perfectly happy, not a care in the world, surrounded by someone I love. I love how you take care of me and make me feel so incredibly special. Everything last night was perfect! Sarah always reminds me of the quote, "Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side." This quote reminds me of you, and like her, I can tell you're the staying kind!

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 27 Can You Please Come Home Soon

I can't imagine a night without you, let alone an entire month. This will be one of the most difficult things EVER. Last night, you and I had the best conversation. We talked about us, and you, and me. We were more honest with each other than we've ever been and we let it all out.

I feel like I could tell you anything and I promise there is nothing you could say or will say to me that would make me love you any less! I look forward to so many more nights together, so many more conversations and so much more you.

“When a man is that special, you know it sooner than you think possible. You recognize it instinctively, and you're certain that no matter what happens, there will never be another one like him.”  -Nicholas Sparks

And I know without a doubt that, that one, is YOU!

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 26 You're Packing

You're packing, I'm watching you and I'm terribly sad. I keep looking over at you for a second and looking away immediately. No part of me wants any part of you to leave. To watch you pack your life into a few duffle bags hurts my heart more than you can imagine. I keep looking around the room imagining what life will be like when you return. I cannot wait, I cannot wait to do all of the things we haven't had time for in the little while we've known each other.

You should know that this is so hard on me. I'm so glad you were there today with me when Liam was picked up, it made the day that much more tolerable. Those days are never easy and today was no different.

And I'm crying, I'm sure you're about to walk back in from outside or wherever it is you currently are packing and catch me crying... you did... and when you told me how lucky you thought you were, you only made me cry harder because I know the truth... that I'm the lucky one!

“She was struck by the simple truth that sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people...” -Nicholas Sparks

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 25 In Love with Your Family

Today we went and just sat and talked with your parents and brothers and I couldn't have had a better time. You have the sweetest, funniest, most caring family I could have ever imagined; I am in love with them. I could really get used to our life together and seeing them every day. I always feel so included, it's like we've always been together, it's comfortable, familiar and sooo special.

Everything about our life together makes me incredibly happy!

"Family is not an important thing, it's everything!" -Michael J. Fox

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 24 The Only Man a Girl Can Trust is Her Daddy... And Maybe You

Today you met Dad...

You have no idea how huge this was for me. I am so guarded with my father, I think because so much of me is explained by the mere mention of him. You are my match in every way... every way. I couldn't imagine bringing a more perfect man home to meet my family.

You are the perfect gentleman and I loved sitting next to you at breakfast. I'm positive they loved you too.

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 23 For the Love of Icecream

Nothing in life makes me happier than spending time "living" with you. Tonight we walked into town with Liam, met my mother and Bry Bry out for ice cream and had the absolute best time just being. You make the simple things fabulous and the mundane things interesting. I want to do everything with you, go everywhere, see the world and just live with you.

I have never been this happy and I am confident that tomorrow I will be even happier... because you're mine.

"Grow old with me, the best is yet to be." -Robert Browning

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 22 Movie Night

Our first movie...

We watched Monsters Inc with our Henry Monster, and I had a blast! You made me popcorn, poured me wine, and fed me chocolate, what? Is that perfection I hear? I believe it is. I apologize for my random outbursts of laughter, I'm a sucker for comedies with happy endings!

I loved spending the night at your house, cuddling with you on the couch and falling more in love with you. I can only imagine I miss you like crazy right now sweetie! I cannot wait for you to come home soon!

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 21 You're Gunna Miss Me When You're Gone

Liam and I are sitting at your computer. Liam and your cat are taunting each other, Liam is insistent that she will bite him and we're both rocking out to the cup song! You should watch it sometime, I find it so catchy! Cup Song!

I made a ridiculously terrible video of myself doing the cup song, maybe some day when I'm feeling especially silly, I'll show it to you. I learned it to impress Kerry-Jo's daughter, Kristine. I'm not sure anyone was impressed but we all had a very good laugh. I love laughing with you!

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 20 Could Life Get Any More Perfect

I met your family...

And they were all I expected and more! I feel so blessed to be a part of your world! You are an amazing man and they are all beautiful! Your mother and father were the most caring, gentle, loving people and your brothers, so sweet!

Your mom is so admirable, I feel like I could get lost with her: gardening, baking, cooking, talking about you, Saratoga or anything really. Your dad is funny, sweet, witty, reminds me soooo much of you; I like that! Jacob was so good with Liam and such a pleasure to sit down and talk to. It was so nice of him to get his dinosaur books for Liam.

John Henry, our Henry Monster! When Liam woke up this morning and we were sitting in the living room, his first question to me was, "Mommy where's Henry?"
"Who?" I asked.
"Henry Monster!"
I feel like he will struggle the most with adding Liam and I to your life. I want him always to feel included and a special part of your world, I want him to be a special part of our world. I was so excited when he made me my own bracelet, he is such a sweet boy, I can see why he is so special to you!

Last night you let me so much further into your life through your family and I feel so completely blessed!

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!

Day 19 A Night Alone

Last night we got home and you weren't there, Liam was devastated! "JJ red truck not here, JJ not here!" He is going to miss you terribly when you're gone, so will I.

When he woke up in the middle of the night, he told me, "Want Mommy's bed!" When I asked him why he replied with, "JJ in Mommy's bed!"

You cuddled with him all night and talked to him while I slept. You were the perfect boyfriend and you are an amazing man for Liam to have in his life, thank you! In the morning, I had to compete with you for Liam's love and affection; I love that he loves you!

And Jeffery, I Blue Heart love you!